Mismatched attraction


I’m wondering is attraction generally mismatched? By that I mean boy meets girl boy likes girl a lot but girl is not so keen as he acts too interested so she backs off and vice versa.

Obviously it can’t always be like this or we wouldn’t have relationships and marriages today, but is modern day dating all just a game and all about our egos?

I’ve dated guys who treated me like a goddess. Yet it wasn’t enough. In theory I want a guy who’s ga-ga about me but there’s been a few and I’ve eventually stopped dating them.

So I wonder if subconsciously I want a challenge or if I’ve just not met a guy that has that je ne sais quoi. That chemistry you feel instantly, the energy and tension. It’s so exciting and you wonder if they are feeling it too or whether you are imagining it all like some love sick puppy.

Chemistry is more than physical attraction, but what is it exactly? Is it liking the same things, having the same sense of humour? Most experts will say it’s mostly just sexual tension and frustration. Lust is not generally a lasting feeling therefore advice is that you need to have a few dates with someone before knowing you are attracted and not just deciding after a few minutes.

As an intuitive person I tend to go with my gut and make quick decisions about a guy. For me, initial chemistry is not only a foundation for something longer lasting later on. It’s enjoyable even only short term – why look so far ahead? it’s a great feeling chemistry and I crave it

Contrary to most beliefs I am a painfully shy girl in relationships and dating. I don’t really know what to do – even still! I think if I contact a guy I will come across as annoying. I may even think I’m not good enough or not attractive enough or not funny enough. Not all the time, but I have all the usual insecurities present even though deep down Im aware I’m attractive and have great qualities.

I find the whole going on dates and then deciding if it’s relationship worthy a bit awkward really, it’s a bit like 3 months probation in a new job. Ughh. But dating someone new is nice and exciting and I enjoy it I just wish there wasn’t so much pressure involved.

I’ve not been attracted to anyone for so long, and then BAM I met someone whom I actually like. I sometimes think that he is attracted to me too but then I doubt myself and think if he was he’d be actively chasing me. It’s so confusing.

I like him because he’s different. He’s interesting and funny and doesn’t know it. We like a lot of the same things and he laughs at my stupid jokes. I wish he would just ask me out already but for whatever reason I don’t see him doing so anytime soon so i should admit defeat gracefully.

Perhaps this is just a case of a mismatched attraction? 🙂


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