A year ago on the operating table.

So my boobs have been less amazing for a whole year! 4 June 2013 the first operation under general anaesthetic in hospital.

A big operation, an operation that would make me look slightly disfigured, leave a big scar. An operation to remove 2.7cm tumour in the upper quadrant of my right breast and remove 30 lymph nodes from under my arm.

I was first in for theatre that morning at 7:30am. I had just returned from Egypt so I was very brown, with a full face of make up.
I remember being really pissed off that they made me take off all my make up. As usual I couldn’t wee on demand but I assured them that my cancer diagnosis had definitely prevented any pregnancy in fact any desire for sex so there was no chance but they were adamant I wasn’t having an operation unless I could provide a sample. Anyway my surgeon (amazing woman called Caroline, yeah I know… đŸ˜‰ ) said my word was good and we could go ahead.

So the walk down to theatre was horrible. I said goodbye to my dad and walked down a corridor with a jolly Scottish man who was my anaesthetist. I just remember being so frightened and I kept thinking what’s the normal reaction to this? I found out mine was to cry. All of a sudden I felt like a little girl who couldn’t find her mum in the supermarket. I was all alone putting all my trust in these strangers in a hospital.

It then dawned on me that they must be used to the crying patients because they started telling me jokes and I started laughing whilst lying on the operating table with the tears still damp on my cheeks.

So I had all this pen drawn over my boobs like you see on plastic surgery programmes on the TV and I felt like such a twat. I’m lying down waiting for my general anaesthetic and I remember thinking please don’t let any attractive doctors walk in now and see me like this.

So in walks doctor Hottie. A Student doctor. I was so embarrassed I could do nothing but giggle. Just my luck I thought. So we shake hands me and doctor hottie. And then they clearly told me a fib and said I was having an injection first before anything else, and I just recall saying “I feel really weird!”

Next thing I know Ive woken up in recovery feeling completely drugged up and floaty…… Pretty good actually; a strange calm almost out of body experience.

I recovered well from the operation but I was exhausted for a long time following. I couldn’t dress myself for weeks and I lost count of all the clothes I had to be cut out of.

It was a very invasive op and the lymph node removal has had drastic consequence on my right arm. It hurts to lift up in the air even now. I can’t lift anything heavy with that arm. I have no feeling In my armpit or the underside of my upper arm.

I have silicone in my body and a plastic valve which protrudes from under the skin.
But one year on I’m still here and as far as I’m aware cancer free. My consultant surgeon Caroline saved my life. I owe her everything.

I need more surgery, and it’s important to me to look as normal as possible.
But I’m more than just a pair of tits. I’m a young woman who had breast cancer at 33 who found the courage and strength to fight and still be here today telling my story.

Me the day before my operation with normal boobs

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