Bit of writing en commute this morning, a subject matter I love to discuss and debate, the old chestnut
can women and men ever be JUST friends?
I’ve had a fair few male friends over the years, some of them I still keep in touch with, but they have never ran smoothly or been void of attraction from one side.
Women and men were put on earth to procreate. One person is attracted to the other initially or at some point; it’s just science!
Some couples even start out as friends but then go on to become a couple, this is ok if you’re both single of course and is an excellent way to start a relationship in my opinion.
But the matter is much more complex when one party is in a relationship and has a friend of the opposite sex loitering in the background.
Here’s the thing: men in relationships generally befriend attractive women they are on some level sexually attracted to. I’m not implying this is a rule. I’m sure that they befriend women who stimulate them mentally too not just in the trouser department..
It could be a subconscious thing and it’s more often fiercely denied, “oh but we are just friends”
Men are quite visual creatures they tend to fall in love with what they see where as women tend to fall in love with words – what they hear.
So it then becomes a friendship fraught with underlying sexual tension and you can always sense it as a bystander. Ok so you two are friends but you’re clearly flirting?
Even if the relationship remains platonic, its not a natural relationship. it’s not a friendship like a guy has with his buddy/ bro. I don’t think guys think about their male friends naked or wonder what it would be like to sleep with him? Hmmm…
Then there’s the girlfriend or wife who hates the female friend and gives you constant grief about her. There’s probably a reason she doesn’t like this friend (I refer to my points above). Then what do you do?
I’m not saying people shouldn’t have friends of the opposite sex I’m saying that we need to be realistic and think about the real reasons we became friends with the person and why we still are. Chances are there’s some attraction from one side or will be at some point.
In the meantime I’m going to stick to female friends I can talk about taboo things with minus the hair flicking giggling and turning a bright shade of beetroot! 😉