What makes us happy?

What makes us happy? Is it no stress, no worries, the sunshine, perhaps a good run of a few days? It’s quite hard to pinpoint right?

We generally know why we are unhappy or stressed out but I never quite know why I’m deliriously happy?

For me these days/weeks of feeling wonderful are imperative to my recovery and a stark contrast or polar opposite of the dark days.

The dark days come in abundance and are triggered by hearing something that frightens me, and worrying the same will happen to me (cancer related things), being overtired and it’s probably all heightened by the medication I’m on which decides to give me an almost constant PMS. Hello Incredible Hulk!

But when I feel low I just have to feel it. I can assure you reader that I am not bipolar but without making any sort of mockery of a mental illness or knowing exactly how it feels to have it, I feel like sometimes I’m post cancer bipolar. I don’t know if others feel like this or whether it’s normal to feel these extreme highs and lows a year on – what’s the timeframe for feeling levelled out and just ok? Maybe this is the journey I’m on and I have to go experience these mood swings first?

All I know is today is a great day. The sun is beaming down on me whilst I sip my coffee and watch the world go by. It’s good to be alive, and it doesn’t matter why I have a smile on my face, I’m just going to wear it, I think it rather suits me…


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