Chemo and complicated relations

Well lovely readers it’s with great delight I am pleased to report that I am rather happy! I hate writing anything on the contrary but as we know it’s not realistic to be happy all the time.

Anyway it’s rather strange looking back; one year ago I was starting chemotherapy. Summer of 2013 was not pleasant. It was hot. I felt sick, and much of it was a blur.

I spent many a day in my dad’s annex in my bedroom eating pic n mix. They tell you a lot during chemo. “Just eat what you fancy.” Because basically food just tastes weird anyway. Apart from pizza and sweets really.

The mood swings I experienced on FEC (a chemo drug used for breast cancer) were horrific. Steroids made things even worse. I was difficult. Tearful and shouty. There were very low moments where I thought I was going insane. I didn’t know who I was. It was like my brains had been sucked out and replaced with cotton wool.

I couldn’t follow anything. Books, TV, I had zero attention span. This has not entirely come back either I still find it hard to focus on anything properly apart from my work.

So this year I have the freedom and my health to enjoy the summer and let’s hope many more summers to come. 🙂

There’s not much to report on the dating front. I’ve been too busy.
I have no time or patience for mixed signals. And I guess that particular situation is surely at the point of no return I can’t see a way out of it.

Its a shame when you’re fond of someone and you imagine them to be this kind and gentle person with this beautiful soul and then realise perhaps you misjudged and you aren’t as intuitive as you thought.

I remember why I like the single life – no putting yourself on the firing line. It hurts when you get wounded.



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