Yesterday I saw my councillor it was our 14th session. I’ve come such a long way I probably don’t really need the sessions now but it’s surprising how much time you can spend talking about cancer and how many other wounds are reopened after diagnosis.
Then there’s the self esteem issues and body image and the list goes on but I’m doing well!
Yesterday she said to me that I have this gusto and passion for life and she says she doesn’t see it in many people cancer or not.
She also said I’m strong wilfull and determined.She says the balance between our will and strength should be equal to the love we give and receive.
Anyway I woke up today and thought what if i do survive this and I’m one of the lucky ones? It’s possible. And now as I’m writing, I’m adamant that yes I am going to survive and life could be so sweet filled with happiness love and excitement.
Soon I will look back on these days of uncertainty and smile to myself because I won’t be scared of cancer and dying anymore that will be just a distant memory.
It’s a journey, I truly see that now. It’s a long walk down a treacherous path with lots of surprises and dangers. I needed to feel every step of this path and take no short cuts.
The road is long and I’m not finished on my journey yet; but I’m not that girl anymore who used to cry herself to sleep.
I grew braver and stronger along the way.