I was just browsing on a cancer forum and I noticed people were talking about anger.
Anger is a common emotion after cancer but what causes it?
I thought hard about this, and it’s difficult to know for sure but I think it boils down to fear.
I’m not so fearful these days and much calmer and chilled out.
Anger is not a positive emotion and generally it only results in hurting ourselves, but to express it reminds me I’m still alive and I feel deeply.
The alternative would be to never express anger or sadness and that must be crippling keeping your emotions prisoner like that. Not ideal for anybody let alone during cancer.
My personality can often be impulsive and I’m a tad hot headed. I consider myself a nice person but I don’t have that censor button others have and have zero patience most of the time.
There’s no point to my blog post tonight really.
I guess what I’m trying to saying is that beforehand, I often felt bad for not being this impeccably behaved woman with cancer. I wanted to be the woman who never shouted never cried or got pissed off and threw a drink at someone- (For another time I think, ignorant little shit). 😆
I now realise that I behaved the best I could during a rubbish time in my life and people weren’t judging me when I messed up, I was judging myself so presumed everyone else was too.
This acceptance has been a huge breakthrough and I’m feeling so much happier and confident in myself..