I was thinking about people I know, predominantly men who come across as very tough with me. Cold and to the point. Sometimes I think I need people like that in my life. Tough love can be good for us. It keeps you strong in a crisis.
But are people as tough on the inside as they are on the outside? Is it an act – a self preservation thing? People still think that showing emotions or crying is weak especially if men do it.
I think back to all the harsh things that were said to me during cancer and after (and they were harsh believe me). Were the people really that cold and uncaring or were they trying to toughen me up and keep me strong? Maybe they were in denial when I was sick, and pretending to be strong for me but behind closed doors they were falling apart.
I still think my dad thinks I had a bad cold and had some medicine and surgery and now I’m all better at least that’s how he acted.
But now I no longer take things at face value. Everyone has their reasons for acting the way they do. Sometimes when people come across as very cold it’s not always because they don’t give a shit. It’s taken me so many years to see that now.
Some people constantly hide and who am I to say that’s wrong?
I wonder if the toughest people are the softest on the inside? Perhaps they feel very deeply about things. I can be emotive and I’m very open and honest but I don’t really spend too much time brooding, I move on quite quickly I think..