There’s no fucking karma

On New Years Eve I found out that my lovely friend got engaged. It popped up on my Facebook feed. For some reason I didn’t read the whole post but I know she’d been poorly in hospital over Christmas.

Most of you probably won’t have seen it but I made a short video last year about our cancer journeys- then and now. It was created to inspire others and give hope to people just starting out. My friend was in the video. She was the youngest of us diagnosed in her 20s and whilst pregnant.

She managed to cope with chemo and had a healthy baby boy who is just the most wonderful and happy baby I think I ever met. Then she went on to have another son quickly afterwards who has not long been born.

It was the happy ending she deserved because she is genuinely kind sweet natured and I’ve never heard her moan about anything ever. I know I always say it’s not a competition who copes the best but in this instance I could only wish to be as dignified as her.

Like a few of my friends she had triple negative cancer which is not receptive to hormone blockers or herceptin. It can be more agressive and is very common in young women.

On that same facebook post she also told everyone she had secondaries and her cancer had spread. She is in a hospice at the moment because she is in a lot of pain but she will have to have more chemo.

How fucking unfair is life? You are a decent person and cancer steals away all your happiness at 30 years old, a wife to be and mum of two babies. This is why I don’t believe in karma. It’s bullshit. It’s just something that passive  people want to believe in.

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There is no justice in the world and there is no karma. Life is chance and luck. You live until old age or you die young and that’s it.

I’m beyond sad.

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