Fuck you cancer you fucking fuck

Everyone seems to be dying around me. It’s bittersweet making so many friends with cancer you have that support but you lose many of them. It all happens so quickly as well. One minute people are fine, the next they are too sick to have treatment or visitors.

Mostly I feel shocked sad and angry that it’s 2015 and they still cannot slow cancer spread down or treat secondary cancer very well. And of course it’s happening to young women which is even worse. Their cancers are so agressive it seems compared to older ladies. I now know of 6 ladies who have died. I know 3 or 4 who are terminal which means that they will die of cancer at some point.

It’s a horrible feeling when you can’t do anything for someone and you have to just sit and wait for the inevitable. I too join the dissapointment brigade along with the doctors- there’s nothing I can do either..

As well as losing my young friends to cancer I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t frightened. “It won’t happen to you people say, don’t worry.”
But it happens to more and more people i know every day. Even in the media, women die young. I rarely need to read the story I just know it’s breast cancer already because breast cancer is a cunt of a disease.

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I feel racked with guilt that I worry about myself let alone talk about it here but in truth that’s how most of us feel. It shakes you violently and acts as a little reminder not to get cocky that your still here surviving..

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