I’m an annoyance

I managed to keep myself busy this week but it all came to a head last night.

I’ve tried not to think about my friends that passed away because I’m frightened. Usually when 1 dies it’s a shock but I think 2 has really scared me and shook me up. I know to some I should be happy and full of joy not wallowing but I’m worried about my back and concerned about what the xray will find.

I’ve also decided to have the cancer gene test. So its all cancer again in my world unfortunately and there’s little I can do.

I know I’m annoying a lot to others and they are sick of me talking about how I’m feeling and how I act the way I do its pretty evident. Perhaps I should stop talking about it full stop or perhaps I shouldn’t have friends that won’t let me be the real me.

It’s a shame because I am happy and enjoying life again but this week has been so tough and I don’t feel I have many people to talk to which is hard.

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