Today, nearly everyone on Facebook has “the best dad.” Obviously thats not possible, there can only be one best dad, but of course anyone with a good dad or one that’s stayed around thinks their dad is the worthy winner of this title.
Anyway it made me think about the word dad and what it actually means to be one. And I had to briefly mention all the shit dads out there, because there are lots of them too. The dads that couldn’t be bothered to hang around, the dads that abused their kids, the one night stand dads who didn’t want a baby. If you have one of those dads I hope an awesome replacement came along or you have an amazing mum who did it alone and kicks ass.
Many people have dads that aren’t their biological dads. It takes a special man to become someone’s dad without those biological ties because you have to really WANT to be someone’s dad it doesn’t just happen. There are grandads, stepdads, adoptive dads and foster dads all over the world who are loving a child that isn’t their own. In a way (and not to take anything away from the great biological fathers out there) these dads are arguably the real special dads.
I will never know my biological father. I suspect he was not English because of how dark I am and my passion and bad temper must surely come from his side.
I never give it much thought though, I never wonder about him. I know some people are desperate to dig up their past because curiosity gets the better of them and they feel incomplete, but I have accepted that I don’t know him, who he is, what he looks like and he isn’t my dad he just made a baby and took advantage of women but that’s another story.
Perhaps this is because I’ve always seen my dad as well, my dad. Gee, sometimes I even forget that biologically he isn’t. My parents couldn’t have a child, but they really wanted me. I’m not going to lie and say it’s been easy, I certainly have not been easy, and I think it’s harder when you are different, (at least with my daughters we are all alike with personality traits).
This year, there will be thousands of sons and daughters celebrating great men in their lives who are not their birth fathers but are the best dads they could wish for. This post is for all of you.