Today was insightful to say the least. So many conversations that have really made me think and analyse myself.
The first conversation I had was about change. ‘I hate change’ they said. I thought I loved change, but I realise that this is because I get bored easily and because I vowed to lead an eventful life and that requires a lot of change! Now all of a sudden I’m second guessing myself. ‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?’ Someone said. I actually don’t know and I’m petrified. I can’t sleep I can’t focus. I feel sick. I should be sad but I’m not. I’m trying not to think too much. Starting a new job is a big deal and it’s only now that I’ve realised this.
I was told that i am reactionary today. I am not offended because a) it’s not always a bad way to be and b) it’s true! Sometimes though I must learn to think about things more before reacting to them. I can be a live wire when I want to be. I will never be passive where certain matters of the heart are concerned but I could probably tone it down sometimes. I always joke and say it’s the Sicilian in me and I have Mafia blood but I never mean any harm and I don’t leave horses heads on people’s pillows… ☺️