After going to bed last night at 6:30pm yes you read that right, I was so tired that I’d got to the point of not being able to sleep and was pretty wired. I ended up going to sleep nearer to midnight. Anyhow, I slept like a baby and felt like a new person on waking this morning.
On reading yesterday’s blog back I am a bit disappointed in myself. I still have the odd terrible day where I feel, like I said,”alone.” I know my triggers. When I’m not well rested I am more emotional and that’s just the way I am. Worrying about scans and even getting good results all take their toll on ones stress levels.
There is also the overwhelming feeling of guilt post cancer- you know,when we do not bounce back to our former selves. It’s very hard to stop feeling guilty and making excuses for others all the time or playing things down regarding how we feel.
Anyway today I came to my happy place in East Sussex by the sea. I feel relaxed and rejuvenated here. I was renting it out but it’s become a real pain in the arse- the last woman wants 50 percent off as she complained there was no cheese grater or chopping board and the beds were hard and lumpy?!
Anyway there’s definitely a degree of patience and tough skin involved with renting your place out because I’ve discovered that people A) like complaining and b) getting things for free. So I will be coming down here more often which is a good thing for me and Lucky who loves it here!
Anyway it’s amazing what a difference a day can make hey.