I’ve never been a huge fan of Christmas since my mum died a month before Christmas in 2001. All of a sudden, everything just changed in an instant. Every year I say I’ll try harder and this year it’ll be different, but my hearts just never truly in it.
This year though I’m one step ahead and starting early. In a bid to feel festive, I’ve started buying presents, I’ve been watching Christmas films for weeks. There’s a tingle of excitement in my body, one I’ve not felt before. Not for a long long time.
Ok, I don’t have my mum around but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be happy and enjoy myself. I think I’ve always felt guilty but the truth is life must go on and I can’t keep living in the past..