I saw my lovely team today to talk about the next stage of my reconstruction, known in the medical world as phase 2.
Unfortunately, as you know, I had to have a mastectomy- all of my breast tissue removed on one side. Bummer! I remember thinking at the time it was all so unfair. Other ladies had lumpectomies,partial pieces of their breast removed so they had a dent or pucker in their breast. God I resented the fact I couldn’t have that. Instead of being done after 1 small operation, I would have to endure 4 surgeries- 4! And, put up with an unsightly botched body for a while dramatically affecting my self -confidence.
Anyway, life has a funny way of rewarding you doesn’t it? Out of this ordeal I’m getting a brand new body. I realise this makes some people feel a little uncomfortable when I go in to it, but let me explain:
I lost my breast and my body looked horrible. Botched. Someone came along and said its going to be alright because we are going to make you a new breast, and once we’ve started working on your body we are going to make it look as close to perfect as we can. What would you say to that?Would you refuse? Would you think you were undeserving? Probably not!
I understand that some women don’t want reconstruction and I don’t think their bodies look anything less than beautiful but this is about me. I’m in my 30s, the way I look is extremely important to me, and my boobs are part of me.
So surgeons are perfectionists in their work. They’re not happy with just two boobs and a flat stomach, they want breasts that are perky and symmetrical and smoother slimmer hips. You might think this is insane but once you start with these things and start reconstructing you have to finish.
So now I get this slightly nipped and tucked body. Something I’d never been able to afford and actually something I’ve never really agreed with before cancer. In a weird way I’m really lucky, but people forget that I am not in remission for 5 years. I had cancer and it could come back. In the grand scheme of things, a nice body means jack shit doesn’t it?
I waited 3 years to be put back together. And people think I don’t have patience? 😉