It’s just a bad day, or is it a bad life? 

I heard some sad news today and I couldn’t cry because someone else was crying about it and I had to be strong for them.

Inside though I was scared and falling apart. I just want to go a few months straight without being upset that someone is ill or freaking out about my own mortality. 

I did what I do best and laughed and joked and tried to forget about it. But it’s the quiet moments, the moments when you’re on your own and you have all that time to think that are the  worst. 

I wonder how much more I can take sometimes and it beginning to become confusing whether I’m  having bad days or a bad life! 

  Is it possible to go to a special place where cancer doesn’t exist? Where nobody ever speaks about it because I’d like to live there…

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