Why does it always rain on me? 

I have Endometrial Hyperplasia. Basically the medication I’m on to prevent breast cancer can cause the cells in the womb to misbehave. My chance of breast cancer returning is high so I can’t stop the tablets. 

If I was a normal woman with this condition I would just be given hormones to correct it but because of cancer in not allowed hormones so the only option is for my womb and cervix removed (or ovaries and womb and cervix removed which results in instant menopause and an option I don’t want to consider). 

Whilst the cells are not yet cancer or even pre-cancer they are starting to resemble pre-cancerous which is dangerous. I guess they don’t want to take the risk. 

Honestly how much does life want to throw at me? How much as my body failed me? Why can’t it work properly for me? Questions that can never be answered but pain me so much.

Nobody can say the right thing. It sucks and that’s it. The only blessing is that I have two children and I didn’t want more but I resent  that choice being taken away from me.  

 I’m so angry. The rage is literally burning me from the inside out. It’s 400 fucking degrees in there-an inferno. There’s no outlet. Just self-hate that’s all I’ve got. 

Sometimes I resent surviving. 

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2 Comments

  1. Lia Brown

    You must be so frustrated! I totally understand. I had the very same thing only mine was precancerous! I opted for total hysterectomy done laparorcopicly and I never looked back. I understand that you are a lot younger than I was but since you have two beautiful children and you don’t want anymore, it is a small price to pay, for your peace of mind! Whatever you decide, put yourself first!!!

    Like

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