I’m always the youngest in the waiting room by far which makes me feel sad and isolated. People stare at me, I guess because they feel a bit sorry for me which is one of the reasons I hate being the youngest in the waiting room.
It took them several goes to get blood from me today because my veins don’t work well anymore due to only having use of one arm for blood tests. So I feel very bruised and sore but manage to laugh at the fact that cancer is the gift that keeps on giving-the bastard.
I’ve had this feeling of malaise and been so bloated. I thought it was stress and I said to my surgeon Mr B (who is very posh and very dashing by the way), that this bloat happens when I am stressed so reassured him or rather myself that I will have deflated by Monday. Turns out my period came, just in time for surgery which was the reason for my bloated stomach! Mother Nature-the bitch that keeps on giving!
So Mr B and I are talking about him making my body look fabulous and he asks me what I want done. I giggled. It’s a bit surreal isn’t it lets be honest? I’m standing there in my knickers looking down while he tells me what he’s going to do in theatre on Monday.
In a nutshell there’s going to be a lot of liposuction to my hips to contour my shape, and maybe to my thighs. He’s going to make my natural breast slightly bigger by injecting fat in to it and lifting the nipple up and breast by 2cm. My reconstructed breast is too big but I’ve forgotten what he’s doing with that. I can imagine what you’re thinking. Why so much surgery when it’s just a breast reconstruction? I think it’s because once they start making changes to your body they need to change other bits of you to be in proportion. I also think it’s like art, and surgeons are perfectionists in the highest order. Lastly and this is probably not a reason, maybe they think after cancer and after chopping parts off that you deserve having a beautiful body.
Regardless of the reasons though it’s what I want. A chance to have something that I’d never have been able to afford let alone given much thought. Why bloody not I say, why bloody not? X