Leave your drama at the door.

I’ve realised that it’s now February and my health has been awful so far this year.

The tablets I’m taking are making me loopy. I have no concept of time! I’m moody and snappy like roid rage but without steroids obviously.

Although my pain is manageable I’m still having terrible spasms in my back that take my breath away so I’m hoping some Valium will stop that. Psychologically speaking I’m not in a great place. Getting up from  out of a chair and bending down to tie my shoes are simple things, but I can’t do them.  I’m frustrated. It’s getting me down that I can’t go out and do things and spend so much time in bed. Then I worry that I won’t get better and I’ll be stuck like this forever.

I’ve healed very well from surgery. Most of the bandages have fallen off now but there’s still bandages on my nipple. I’ve not seen my scars from the uplift surgery, but I’ve been told they will eventually fade. Besides what’s a few scars when you  already have a nice collection? 

Some people have really shone these last few weeks. I cannot ever repay them for their kindness.  I’m lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. Others have completely ignored the fact I had surgery or caused me a lot of stress.  I’m thankful in a way- even though this reconstruction and healing is shit, I get to see people’s true colours just like when I was diagnosed. 

 I’m 2.5 years post diagnosis- not yet in remission. I will do whatever it takes to ensure that my health is priority. Negativity stress and drama are simply not welcome. 

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