Why I’m learning to love my scarred body.

16 hours of surgery on my poor body. It’s been ravaged. Cut open, fat sucked out, fat injected in, you name it I’ve had it-but now I have 2 boobs. I also have a lot of scars.  

I’ll start at the bottom and work my way up. 

I have a prominent scar on my tummy. This is what they used to rebuild my new breast. It was invasive but I wanted something soft that was like my old breast and that’s what I’ve got. The scar is a little longer now each side due to some liposuction I had on my hips. This was because my old hips looked weird and out of proportion to my new body so they contoured. It’s  also because they injected fat in to my natural breast to give it some more fullness. It’s a bit like a breast implant but it doesn’t increase the size just gives them a fuller look. 

My left breast was lifted a bit so I have a scar underneath the crease of the breast, one underneath my nipple down to the crease and one around my nipple. The right breast has a rugby ball shaped scar where they made the flap and created the blood supply (tummy to chest skin)

 I don’t want anymore surgery. My surgeon mentioned  a phase 3 as it’s been very hard to match my two boobs one is a little bigger than the other, but that’s normal even in women who haven’t had breast cancer. You do become really obsessed with this surgery and your body because you have somebody telling you that they can make you look better, and why wouldn’t you have surgery when it’s being offered? 

But enough is enough now. When I started this woeful journey  back in May almost 3 years ago I remember being so upset when the nurse told me it would take 2-3 years until I finished reconstruction. I learned something about myself though. I was controlled,calm and patient because I wanted it so badly-it was worth the wait.

This is what breast cancer looks like. Scars, reconstructed breasts fat borrowed from Peter to pay Paul. It’s not the best body but it’s mine and it has an amazing story to tell.  X


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