It’s my mood, and I’ll be moody if I want to.

As predicted these new hormones I’m taking have severely affected my mood. I can’t smile- no joke. What with the hormones and all the pain meds I’m on I’m a psychological mess. 

It’s funny how when you’re in a mood people around you can’t seem to stand it. It’s not even like I’m snappy or agressive I’m just quietly seething. Why can’t I be that? 

This is exactly what I mean about people’s high expectations of people with cancer and post-cancer survivors. People expect you to be all back to normal and laughing ang joking all the time. Well I’m not and I don’t want to be.

 I’m fed up you see. There’s always something wrong with me health wise, it’s getting me down. I would just like to lead a normal life. This bad back has affected me more than I thought it would although during the day it is getting a little better which is good I guess but I want it gone. 

I really have no desires to be known as that woman with breast cancer who was always so happy and positive. Rather someone who was honest and kept it real. 

The truth is I quite like being in a mood and I think I’ll stay in it for a while. Isn’t being happy all the time purely  to please other people just exhausting? 😝

  

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