It’s really hard to be happy for others but I mostly still am…

I frequently read that social media is bad for us. Apparently we waste too much time on it and we feel jealous pangs regarding what our friends are getting up to.  It’s said that we  enjoy updating our own pages far more than we do reading our friends status updates, which basically makes us all narcissists right? 😆

The truth is, we all portray a side of ourselves we want the world to see – the good side. And most of us only post about the great things that are going on in our lives  which often leads to social media envy. Nobody posts about how terrible their marriage is or how annoying their kids are. We don’t post about our money problems or that we are taking anti depressants like they are going out of fashion, it’s just not the done thing. 

Here’s the thing. Once you realise that Facebook and Instagram etc.. isn’t real then you are less likely to be in competition or feel that your life doesn’t quite measure up.  That perfect selfie of your friend and her gorgeous boyfriend- they were arguing five minutes after they took the photo, in fact they argue all the time. That friend who jets off  to exotic locations every five minutes is just filling a void and is deeply unhappy.  That beautiful skinny girl who you wish you could look even remotely like actually wishes she could have your life. 

Even though I have always been aware of the Facebook farce, It’s suddenly became harder  when I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. That’s because I know that most of my online “friends” are not in the same boat. It became even easier to resent people’s happy news. Wedding bells, new baby, another year clear from breast cancer (that one is enough to give me acid reflux). These days a happy status update can make me burst in to tears but then I realise people can’t stop sharing their good news just because one or two of their friends is dying of cancer. Life just doesn’t stop you see, the wheel keeps on turning, and, even if  at times it pains me to admit it, everybody deserves to be happy. 

What I’m saying is -we are only human. It’s natural to resent other people’s success, achievements or happiness sometimes, and chances are the people you envy are probably envious of  elements of your life too. And maybe, just maybe, people aren’t actually as happy as you think they are, or at least, no more happy than you are…