Lullaby for my ovaries 

Without doubt the best thing about having hormone positive cancer is the lack of monthly cycle- aka periods, aka aunt flow, the blob, time of the month, got the painters in etc..! Who knew there were so many euphemisms for periods? It’s not even the actual bleeding every 28 days that is bothersome, it’s the period pain and the pre period rage I suffered with every month. I always had that awful bloat going on and the agonising cramps in my belly which extended down my legs. 

For 9 glorious months now I’ve not had a period because I’ve been on chemo and now I have monthly zoladex injections (which put my ovaries in a deep sleep so I don’t release an egg). My body now thinks I’m in menopause. Mother Nature is certainly a grade A bitch inventing that! She punishes you for years with painful messy periods then gives you the gift of menopause! Just googling menopause symptoms is enough to give you a hot flush and put you off sex for life! Of course I’m too young to go through the real deal, but going through a fake menopause overnight is equally shite, but thank the Lord I don’t seem to be suffering too badly.

Since I started these Zoladex injections I feared the worst, but actually I’ve barely  had any hot flushes and there’s definitely been no night sweats. I wonder if this is because I’ve beentaking Effexor the anti depressant which is said to be the equivalent of HRT, without the  hormones. My male GP was unconvinced. “Try it” he said,” I doubt it will work.” Well after a few days of taking it my hot flushes all but disappeared. Ha! Take that doc! I didn’t even need my Ladycare magnet that I purchased from Amazon. I’m not on the anti depressants because I’m depressed, I take it purely to ward off hot flushes but I’m sure they also have a positive effect on my mood which is a bonus. Anyway I hope I’ve not spoken too soon as I have my second injection tomorrow. I have it at the hospital because I just feel that the nurses would be more gentle than a GP but it’s personal preference as to where you have it. 

While my ovaries are sedated,the other females of the house are well and truly in sync, and I spend a fortune on Always ultra every month. Wouldn’t it be great to be the inventor or CEO of a sanitary product? I mean they must make a bloody fortune if you will pardon the pun!  

With very little to gloat about with cancer, the no period thing is something I like to rub people’s noses in now and then! It’s not like I need to have periods anymore anyway, I have completed my family thankfully but being in any kind of menopause is not really what I imagined for myself before 35 either. 

Menopause aside, it’s just 36 hours before we go on our first family holiday this year to Mexico. We are all beyond excited. There’s crap everywhere, clothes, shoes, make up. If you ever wondered what it must be like to live with 3 teenage girls ask my dad. He has no hair left and spends much of the time in his bedroom as he cant stand the mess. I class myself as a teenager because I am untidy like one and I have a lot of stuff everywhere, I also play my music loudly. (I realise this is just wishful thinking). 

But for now 

Adios amigos X 

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