Nobody has the perfect life. Nobody.
I was so sick of this pretence, particularly on Social media, that I deleted my Facebook for eight months. It was liberating and if I’m honest a sigh of relief. Reading 350 status updates every week about how happy people are oh and how perfect their lives are of course, can be soul destroying. The problem with Social media is that it’s addictive. But people aren’t just addicted to Facebook itself, they are addicted to that pain they feel when they stalk their exes or read things that they know will upset them (you know that bitch who has it all with the perfect pictures, perfect husband, perfect kids). Sounds bizarre, but if you’re entirely honest with yourself you will know that sites like Facebook do not make you happier, do not enrich your life and much of the time probably make you feel jealous, unattractive or just plain miserable. No amount of likes is never enough, at least until you have your self esteem in order.
(I’m aware this is sounding patronising and preachy, I promise it’s not meant, I just see things differently now death stares me in the face, maybe it’s wisdom, maybe it’s rubbish but that’s up to you which) 😁
It’s not just Social media that hurts our feelings, it’s worse when it involves our real life close friends. Usually our friends have something we desperately want and it’s so hard for us to be happy for them sometimes. That’s totally normal to feel like that, the hard part is pretending you’re happy and putting on a brave face, but even harder still is genuinely being happy for people who have something you don’t. For instance, most of my friends have their health. Sometimes just the thought of that is enough to make me burst in to tears. Why me? I ask myself, but that’s just the way it is. I love love, and it’s not natural for me not to have a partner really, but I decided when cancer struck that I didn’t want the emotional baggage of a boyfriend or husband although I still have companionship sometimes, I can’t be fully involved. I see my friends with their partners and I feel sad that I can’t really have that, and friends with their mums, of course I wish I had mine but I found a way to deal with these pangs- (it gets easier with practice).
I guess I just started loving what I had. Now I spend time thinking about and appreciating all my blessings with every bit of my heart. I say to myself, I’m lucky and deserving of all the blessings and then I believe it!
Maybe you don’t have a husband but you have beautiful children, or maybe you don’t have much money but you have your health? Nobody has it all and focussing on what others have and being hateful will just make you bitter. The problem is that people spend so much of their time wanting more when they have so much already, they just need to look a little harder.
I saw this quote and it summed it up perfectly:
“Once you realise how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, and the music will play.”